We failed as humans..!!

With our aggressive brutality and violence,

The world right now is facing such an awkward silence..!!

Living in the times where nothing but catching common cold is a scare,

ever wondered who is guilty for this massacre..?

We are controlled by technology that has made our brains so thick,

we are ruining someone's life on social media just with a click..!!

We have 10 people for the work that could be done alone,

can't believe we were the species that made fire out of stone..!!

With the hatred, wars, corona and forest on flames,

is this our deliberate way to play dirty games?

With the army, health workers and police at our aid in this time of despair,

shame on us to be harming them for showering us with care..!!

We are the masters of self destruction trying to numb our pain with alcohol and drugs,

spitting on the people who serve us and pelting stones like thugs..!!

The least we can do is stay at home right now without any strife,

there are people trying to save us without caring about their life..!!

Humans were the amazing species created by nature,

yet here we are ganging up to destroy our future..!

!We are killing the hope left for us to get this through,

just humanity was expected out of us and we failed in it too..!!

Women, Just Imagine!

Imagine a world where being XX or XY was not an issue
Imagine a world where your gender will not decide your curfew.

Imagine a world where the society won't teach us what's best to do.
Imagine a world where your age doesn't define the matrimonial timeline for you!

Imagine a world where you are respected for having an opinion.
Imagine a world where there is no gender based wage division!

Imagine a world where you are not guilty for being a working mother.
Imagine a world where being curvy doesn't bother!

Imagine a world where your feminism is not considered bitter.
Imagine a world where your clothes don't decide your character!

Imagine having a carefree walk at 11 at night.
Imagine you not knowing household chores was alright!

Imagine there was no difference between the colors pink and blue.
Imagine discussing about periods wasn't such a big taboo!

Just imagine if all these imaginations were real,
then we don't have to celebrate women's day every year!

Dear "ME"

I know its been a while since I said Hello,
I know you have been feeling a little low..!!
But you have been extremely strong all this way,
You have not given up on me until this day..!!

I know you have been slowing replacing your smile with frown,
You are stronger than anything that has tried to tear you down!
With the imperfect mirrors of eyes, the world will always judge you,
You be yourself and I promise we will get this through..!!

I am sorry for the times I neglected you for others,
I know you won't say but it bothers!
I apologize for being harsh when you don't get things right,
I promise to be a little more patient and polite..!!

There have been nights and nights that you have cried,
You have buried your sorrows and said you have tried!
You have been taunted for being an emotional fool, I know how you feel,
You care and love immensely so I don't think its a big deal..!!

I know things have been quiet mundane,
I know things around you are driving you insane!
Please believe in yourself and get back on track,
Don't worry babe, I've got your back!!

I am flawed and that's OK...!!!

I am a person who is flawed head to toe.
I am not ashamed of it and will let everybody know..!!
I am the strangest and most mystical thing.. 
I cannot act, dance or sing!!      


I love to sleep and I am conveniently lazy.
I can cry and laugh at the same time, yes, you can call me crazy..!!
I fall on the plain ground in my flats.
My teeth are tinier than that of rats!!

I can name a thousand flaws in me and they still grow..
But that's me and that's what I want to show!!
But if I really search, contemplate and glance around.
Is anything flawless? 
Honestly, what actually is 100% sound?



Hiding my flaws doesn't help me flourish,
I want to accept myself and cherish!
In the world of pretense, I get judged for not being perfect,
But show me just one person who has no defect!!


I know constantly getting criticized can be tough but, I want to break those bars.
I am more than enough and beautiful in my scars..!!
This is me and that's how I slay.
Yes, I am flawed, but that's absolutely okay!!

Prince Charming

I am not a damsel in distress..
nor a beautiful princess..
I am not some Cinderella who lost her shoe..
I never even believed fairy tales were true!!

The description of prince charming caught my attention..
I questioned the way they would mention..
Is prince charming really about money, strength and looks?
doesn't he have characteristics other than mentioned in the books?

Then entered this charming man in my life..
A man who had guts to make me his wife..
My prince charming has a heart of gold..
Someone who has empathy towards everyone, young or old..
 
My prince charming gives me that extra push when I tremble..
he has great values and is extremely humble..
My prince charming doesn't command but stands by my side..
he made me believe in myself when my inner strength died!!

My prince charming takes care of me when I am ill,
he also lets me pay the bill!!
He yells and corrects me when I am wrong..
But he can also make me blush just by singing a song.

As you grow up you know life is not a dream..
All that glitters is not gold as it may seem..
 You don't need a handsome hunk with a fancy car...
All you need is a man who loves you the way you are!!


 

The two of me

I may seem calm, happy and fine..

there is an inner me that will never align..

There is a constant criticism for whatever I want to be..

I am not just dealing with self, I am dealing with the two of me!!

I create my own barriers, I draw my own line..

expect to achieve everything, expect everything to be fine..

I am my own critic before the society labels me..

the compulsion of perfection doesn't let me be...   

I turn my ability into a question mark..

I put off the fire even before a spark..

I fight with my demons but let them win..

The other me is not comfortable in my own skin..

Nostalgia!

Remember, when we hated to sleep?

Or when we were picky of the things we ate?

Remember, when summer holidays were a thing?

Or when we played house-house for our play date?

Remember, when mom packed our boxes with yum food for school?

Or when cartoon pictures on your bags and bottles were cool?

Remember, we learned to add, subtract, and multiply?

Never did we imagine the way "time will fly by" !!

Remember, where only homework was the struggle?

Or when you first experienced the joy of soap water bubble?

Remember, when you waited for school picnics every year?

Or when asking permission was the only fear?

Remember, when playing cassettes on tape recorders gave us joy?

Or when cartoon network played our favorites tom & jerry, scooby doo or popeye!!

Remember,when rain meant paper boat?

Or how cute we looked in that tiny little rain coat?

Remember, the last time when you actually were carefree ?

when you didn't worry about getting a job or a degree?

Those days are gone when we were insanely sane..

But once in a while, its good to go down the memory lane!!!

                                     

Calming the inner chaos!!!

       In our busy lives, we are constantly running around doing a million things. We fight, we hustle, we chase but still with a calm on our face. Rarely do we try to calm the inner chaos, the multiple questions we ask ourselves within a day, the multiple times we feel like "Ok that's it! I am done". Its a lot harder to calm the chaos inside than solving any problem in the outer world.

     Unintentionally a lot of times we find ourselves hustling in the mind, You can’t explain it. You are easily irritated, you don’t have the zest for the things that used to make you smile. Those are signs you’re experiencing a chaotic inner state or simply being trapped in a place mentally. We hide it deep within from the world in fear of exposing our true weakness. This is when you need to have an appointment with yourself. 

     Life can be truly hectic, even chaotic, if we don’t stop now and then to take a few minutes for ourselves. With the invention of computers, mobiles and internet, our work/personal lives were supposed to get easier, but it’s gotten busier than ever before! TAKE A BREAK!! Small or big but we all need to stop for a moment and take a break.

   A break can be anything from a happy nap to an impulsive sudden vacation to Goa!  Anything that calms your mind from extreme emotions. Give yourself a happy treat mentally. You deserve a break not only from your work, your routine or your overwhelming society but from yourself, your hustle and chaos. 

   Life is a very busy mission and we have the courage to gain everything. But, sometimes you just need to take a step back, relax, speak up your mind  and treat yourself. Sometimes, the best thing you can do to yourself is "JUST BREATHE"!!
  

 

Lamhe...

Kabhi khamosh se..
Kabhi udaas se..
Kabhi hasi se..
Kabhi khushi se...
                                                               

Kabhi kisi ke pyar me..
Kabhi intzaar me.
Kabhi tadapte dil ki pukaar me...
Kabhi kisike inkaar me..

Kabhi sehme huee..
Kabhi thame hue..
Kabhi bhagte hue..
Kabhi raftaar me..

 Kabhi berang shaamo me.
Kabhi udaas kali raato me..
Kabhi din ke khalipan me.
Kabhi chupi nigaaho me
Na jaane kitne rang hai in lamho ke  💙

Dar lagta hai....

Dar lagta hai har lamha tujhe khone ka,\

Dar lagta hai har pal kuch galat hone ka..

Dar lagta hai ki ek din sab badal jayega,

Dar lagta hai ki ek din ye pyar kam pad jayega..       
Baat bharose ki nahi haalat ki hai, 

Dar lagta hai ek din halaato ke saamne hosla kam pad jayegaa..

Janti hu ye dar be-buniyaad hai,

 par dar lagta hai ki ye kahi sach hogaya to mere paas jeene ke liye kuch nahi reh jayegaa.

One day...!!!

One day everything will end..
I'll be no one to you, not even a friend..

One day you will not need me anymore,          

I'll silently walk away through your door...

One day my feelings will die,
Nothing will matter neither your betrayal or lie...

One day I'll look back and laugh at my stupidity,
It wasn't meant to be, it wasn't eternity!

Unheard Scream!

The happy girl lost her grace,
As tears run down her face..
She forgot who she was, and her dreams to chase..
She felt broken, worthless and disgrace. .!!

As the blue sky faded to black,
Her wings of hope vanished from her back..
Darkness has now filled her heart,
All her kindness now fell apart!!

She screams but cannot be heard...
She lost her speech and her vision is blurred.

With her tear stained cheeks and blood shot eyes..
Losing her strength, from within she dies..

 

 

Being an adult!!

We all knew that we would grow up one day..
We knew that we had to face it someday..

Everyone said there would be tough times, but you will be okay..
Nobody mentioned everything comes up with a cost that you have to pay..!!

There is an overwhelming stress you have to face...
Willingly or unwillingly, you are a part of rat race...

You are caught in shackles of need that look like lace...
Between money and dreams you don't know what to chase...!!

Every mistake you make feels like you are getting stabbed with knife..
The decisions you make, would affect the rest of your life..

You are caught up in the situations where you don't know what to do..
Its terrifying to know that "you can be rejected for being you..!"

Its frightening  to realize that when you grow up you are on your own..
Into a world that's still unknown..

Despite this fear, you wake up everyday and fight..
In this world, you are your own knight..!!
 

Believe in your heart, keep your spirits alive,

Don’t doubt yourself, you will survive.

 

Things can go wrong and make you feel low,

It’s good not to dwell, you can let it go...!!

Things we don't talk about..!!

     "Chilhood Abuse" as we discuss, is been limited to physical and sexual trauma a child goes through. While we discuss about these issues, we often overlook an equally damaging and common kind of abuse - emotional abuse.

     Emotional  abuse can be of various kinds like emotional neglect, verbal abuse, demotivation, shame & humiliation etc. A child absorbs and learns what is been taught or what he/she observes around them. There is no good or a bad child by birth. There are many people who are hesitant or unwilling to talk about their childhood because of the chaos they have gone through.  Painful childhood memories are typically tied to distressing feelings such as abnormality, inferiority, self-doubt and shame as the child grows up. However, memories of these past situations and events can sneak up on a person in the present during moments of “felt” threat or vulnerability. These emotions are intense and hard to explain. 

    Each member in a family has their own strengths, their own struggles, their own point of view. They have their own personalities, their own fears, their own hopes. Each member also has a unique relationship with every other member, too. Its important for the adults to understand what the kid really thinks. Childhood trauma does not come in a single package. Its the series of incidents good or bad that grooms the personality. On top of abuse or neglect, denial heaps more hurt upon the child by requiring the child to alienate herself/himself from reality and her/his own experience. 

     As children, such individuals usually feel insufficiently cared for, supported, or respected. They feel they have no “voice” in their family, that their wants and needs are regularly overruled or shamed by their elders. Four out of five families also have the obnoxious habit of comparing their kid with others which again leads to jealousy and aggression. Trust me no child needs this kind of negativity in their childhood. There are always ways to make your child the best, comparison is certainly not the way.

      When child with such emotions grow up, their behavior reflects in their further relationships, with peers, friends etc. They might grow up to be aggressive, angry or they might also grow up to be emotionless as their feelings were never valued. Remember that the purpose is not to dwell on the past but to go back to it for the purpose of re-visioning it. As an adult, there may be nothing more important than evolving a positive self-regard, and seeing yourself as competent, worthy, and lovable. If you still view yourself in a variety of negative ways, you owe it to yourself to take another look at your past, and to discover joyfully that you’re not who your adults or society prompted you to believe you are. You are what you want to be!!

    

  

Stop Female Foeticide !!!

Everyone was happy that I was coming,
a little tissue when they found out, still developing..!
Mumma and Papa were dancing in joy,
they thought it’s better if I was a boy!!

Mumma was treated like a queen,
She was now pampered like she has ever been!!
Papa was planning how everything should be blue,
but I was a girl and they had no clue!!


Days passed, nights passed and now few months were over,
but till now they didn’t know what was my gender!
mumma’s food was my food to eat,
the first music I listened to was her heartbeat!!

Anything can go wrong as stated in law of Murphy,
Soon I was in the ward of Sonography!!
I was happy and cozy in my mumma’s womb,
little did I know, I’ll be in a tomb..!!             

Everybody was waiting for the news of wonder,
mumma’s heart was beating like thunder!!
“It’s a girl”! the nurse exclaimed,
papa was ashamed and mumma was blamed!!

They said we don’t want her, lets go for abortion,
It was my life and I wasn’t asked any permission!!
I consoled myself and kept quiet like a good girl,
I saw a pair of hands towards me swirl!!

All I remember is the thirsty look of the sharp knife,
Eagerly waiting to end my dear life!!
Mumma and papa were brave enough to see me die,
at least they would have kissed me a good bye!!

A trip to remember!

* One's destination is never a place, it's a new way of experiencing life **

      A holiday to Andaman & Nicobar Islands is a once in a lifetime experience. Andaman & Nicobar is full of amazing nature  and stunning marine life. Andaman Islands are a group of islands in the Bay of Bengal and a Union Territory of India. The place was known as "Kaala Pani" because of the Cellular Jail. This place became a tourist's spot only after 2000. Tourists can visit Andaman group of Islands as the Nicobar is out of reach for any kind of tourism activities and we need government permit to visit them.
 
    

 My trip to Andaman was with my family in Oct 2016. Our flight was from Chennai to Port Blair, the capital of Andaman. It was a 4 day trip with stay and site seeing of Port Blair, Havelock island, Ross island, Bartang island and Neil island. A typical day at Andaman begins with sunrise as early as 5 AM in the morning and sun sets at about 4.30-5 PM. There are 2 monsoons in Andaman and it rains anytime, just like Bengaluru!!😁😁

    Day 1- On our first day we covered all the tourist spots of Port Blair like Chattam Saw Mill, Samudrika Naval Marine Museum,  Rajiv Gandhi Water Sports complex and The Cellular jail. Our day ended with light and sound show in cellular jail, which illustrates the torture and inhuman treatment of the prisoners. The vibe of cellular jail gives you goosebumps!!

   

Day 2 - We were ready at 4 AM for our first mini cruise ride to Bartang islands. It is famous for its beautiful beaches, mangrove creeks, mud-volcanoes and limestone caves. You can see thousands of parrots at Parrot Island in the evening. Naturally limestone caves are magical and you will be amazed to see these natural creations here. A jetty ride to the limestone caves from the island in the rain was thrilling!! 

Day 3 - Our third day was the best day of our trip to Havelock islands, a 2 hour cruise ride from Port Blair.. Fine white sand, turquoise blue waters of exceptional quality and a lot of serenity were the hallmark of this enormous island. It's a paradise for water sports lover. One can enjoy scuba diving, snorkeling, bird watching, game fishing kayaking and much more.  I was  waiting for this day since a long time as it was my first "Scuba Diving experience". After a happy time at the beautiful Radhanagar beach, we went to the Ocean dive centre for scuba diving.  They give the dive suit with oxygen cylinder followed by 1 hour of basic diving training and instructions. You don't have to be a swimmer for scuba diving.  After getting  trained in 6 – 8 ft. water, I was ready for my first dive, both scared and thrilled.

       

         

 There is nothing like breathing underwater. You feel your throat dry up, and try blowing air from your nose but you can’t. In the struggle of breathing from your mouth, you can’t help but swallow the salty sea water. And then you make a conscious effort to try and convince yourself to breath from the mouth. What fascinated me thoroughly was the sound of my own breath underwater, it was hypnotizing. When I entered in the deep blue sea, my heartbeat was really fast and it took me few minutes to relax myself under water. Scuba gives us the chance to unveil the mysteries and the wonders of the environment which covers the majority of our planet.  It was really a great experience, to see the beauty of sea wildlife, fish , corals etc. I also found Nemo( Clown fish) 😅😁 It was totally a different world. It was so quiet. We were inside the water for about an hour. When we came back I got to the real meaning of the shayari from Movie "Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara" . Just Kidding, it happens only in movies. But it does give you confidence to overcome your fears! It was just one word "AMAZING".    

 

Day 4 - The day was a bit relaxing as we didn't had to wake up at 4 that day. We had only Ross island and Neil island to cover  and it is a 20 minutes jetty ride from Port Blair. Ross island has Indian Naval Post and a beautiful Light house. Ross Island has thick forests. To any onlooker it may give the impression that it has no "life" — in the sense that there is no human habitation. Spotted Deers and peacocks are mostly found in the island and they just roam around casually with humans, just like cats and dogs here.

Day 5 - We had a flight back to Chennai in the morning and we were upset and cribbing as we didn't want to leave Andaman. With heavy hearts we departed from Port Blair with extra baggage full of amazing memories.

Move on..!!

Once in a lifetime everyone goes through heartbreak,
the pain of being abandoned, the pain that no one can take..!!  

The feeling of being excluded from the rest,
the uncertainty of not knowing what’s next..!! 

But the scars you hold are necessary,
you get them from the love that does not tarry..!! 
Take time to think not only twice but many times over,
think of something that causes peace instead of anger..!!

Pain and hopelessness are only in one's mind,
They may be wiped out, so leave them both behind..!!
No one else can cure but, you yourself alone,
Understanding and helping yourself takes you out from that zone..!!  

Getting out of the blue is easier said than done,

 But with you on your side, impossible thing is none..!!
  Smile the sweetest smile and the world smiles too,
  Cry the saddest moan, you shall find it's only you..!!

You will wake up one day and this won’t matter anymore,
you will no longer weep for that closed door..!!

So, go on, live your life the way it should be,
 let go of the sorrows and you shall be free..!!

I am Alone..!!

Alone with my thoughts deep and dry,
with the slide show in my head passing by..!! 

Alone in my room, alone in my bed,
but I am not alone in my heart or head..!!

Alone with thoughts I cannot share,
people might leave me, so I don’t dare..!!

I feel alone, in this world of pretense,
where people talk about things that don’t make sense…!!

 

Alone with people all around,
loneliness is the only thing I’ve found..!!

Alone in my sadness and my tears,
I’ve mastered the skills to hide my fears..!!

Now, I have no one to call my own,
amongst the crowd I walk alone..!!

Yes, I Am An Introvert

     "I am an introvert". I know this now and I am not ashamed of it. Some days you'd never guess I am introverted, others it's pretty obvious to see that I am one. I'm awkward when I need to talk to someone or start a conversation. Addressing or being part of a big group of people for a long period of time drains my energy, but there is always a big thumbs up to one-on-one conversations. Most people don't know this, but I have to mentally prepare myself to talk to you.

         As a kid I’ve grown up thinking that something is wrong with me. Brought up in a loud middle class Indian family where people don’t understand the concept of being introverted, I was always questioned things like, “Are you okay?”, “Why are you so quiet?” or “Do you hate people or something?” or “It’s rude when you don’t speak up in a gathering”. Obviously, I had no answer.  I would rarely  engage with the other children of my age. I was always off to the side somewhere, playing with my own toys and doing my own thing. When I pushed myself really hard to make a small talk, I made a fool out of myself and that made me really sad. It was only in college I realized that, its okay to be the way I am. It's ok if I don’t feel like interacting with other people and a big “Thank You” to each of the few friends that I have who , accepted me the way I am.

      Although I am quiet, once I get comfortable, it’s a whole another story. I can be the most talkative, outgoing person while in my ideal environment, but at any moment, I can go from having the time of my life to, "please, get me the hell out of here!" If I know you, or you’re super extroverted with a conversation and you’re pretty much the one leading it, I can handle it. But if you’re expecting me to lead the conversation or have a smooth one, it’s not going to happen

      To be happy means accepting who you are. If you love surrounding yourself with a huge group of friends and attending every party you can, great! But it’s equally ok to prefer spending time alone, or just staying at your home reading a book or sometimes doing nothing. So next time somebody tells you it’s not normal to spend so much time alone, or can’t understand why you would turn down a plan for a cozy time on the sofa in your PJ’s, tell them, 
      “Hey, I’m an introvert, and that’s okay!" Because it really is.

Its your choice!

Feeling lost and lonely with each passing day?
there my friend, you need to find a way!

Its all about choices that you have you make..
Its all about chances that you have to take!!

Its all about living in the past or living now,
Its all about making it work or just wondering how?

Its always a toss between faith and doubt,
Its all about hiding these feelings or shouting it out!!

Its all about choosing to give up or getting back on track,
Its all about accepting your defeat or fighting it back!!

Upto you to let go of everything or to stay,
listen to your gut, you will find a way!!