Yes, I Am An Introvert

     "I am an introvert". I know this now and I am not ashamed of it. Some days you'd never guess I am introverted, others it's pretty obvious to see that I am one. I'm awkward when I need to talk to someone or start a conversation. Addressing or being part of a big group of people for a long period of time drains my energy, but there is always a big thumbs up to one-on-one conversations. Most people don't know this, but I have to mentally prepare myself to talk to you.

         As a kid I’ve grown up thinking that something is wrong with me. Brought up in a loud middle class Indian family where people don’t understand the concept of being introverted, I was always questioned things like, “Are you okay?”, “Why are you so quiet?” or “Do you hate people or something?” or “It’s rude when you don’t speak up in a gathering”. Obviously, I had no answer.  I would rarely  engage with the other children of my age. I was always off to the side somewhere, playing with my own toys and doing my own thing. When I pushed myself really hard to make a small talk, I made a fool out of myself and that made me really sad. It was only in college I realized that, its okay to be the way I am. It's ok if I don’t feel like interacting with other people and a big “Thank You” to each of the few friends that I have who , accepted me the way I am.

      Although I am quiet, once I get comfortable, it’s a whole another story. I can be the most talkative, outgoing person while in my ideal environment, but at any moment, I can go from having the time of my life to, "please, get me the hell out of here!" If I know you, or you’re super extroverted with a conversation and you’re pretty much the one leading it, I can handle it. But if you’re expecting me to lead the conversation or have a smooth one, it’s not going to happen

      To be happy means accepting who you are. If you love surrounding yourself with a huge group of friends and attending every party you can, great! But it’s equally ok to prefer spending time alone, or just staying at your home reading a book or sometimes doing nothing. So next time somebody tells you it’s not normal to spend so much time alone, or can’t understand why you would turn down a plan for a cozy time on the sofa in your PJ’s, tell them, 
      “Hey, I’m an introvert, and that’s okay!" Because it really is.