"Chilhood Abuse" as we discuss, is been limited to physical and sexual trauma a child goes through. While we discuss about these issues, we often overlook an equally damaging and common kind of abuse - emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse can be of various kinds like emotional neglect, verbal abuse, demotivation, shame & humiliation etc. A child absorbs and learns what is been taught or what he/she observes around them. There is no good or a bad child by birth. There are many people who are hesitant or unwilling to talk about their childhood because of the chaos they have gone through. Painful childhood memories are typically tied to distressing feelings
such as abnormality, inferiority, self-doubt and shame as the child grows up. However, memories of these past situations and
events can sneak up on a person in the present during moments of “felt”
threat or vulnerability. These emotions are intense and hard to explain.
Each member in a family has their own strengths, their own struggles, their own
point of view. They have their own personalities, their own fears, their
own hopes. Each member also has a unique relationship with every other
member, too. Its important for the adults to understand what the kid really thinks. Childhood trauma does not come in a single package. Its the series of incidents good or bad that grooms the personality. On top of abuse or neglect, denial heaps more hurt upon the child by requiring the child to alienate herself/himself from reality and her/his own experience.
As children, such individuals usually feel insufficiently cared for,
supported, or respected. They feel they have no “voice” in their family,
that their wants and needs are regularly overruled or shamed by their elders. Four out of five families also have the obnoxious habit of comparing their kid with others which again leads to jealousy and aggression. Trust me no child needs this kind of negativity in their childhood. There are always ways to make your child the best, comparison is certainly not the way.
When child with such emotions grow up, their behavior reflects in their further relationships, with peers, friends etc. They might grow up to be aggressive, angry or they might also grow up to be emotionless as their feelings were never valued. Remember that the purpose is not to dwell on the past but to go back to it for the purpose of re-visioning it. As an adult, there may be nothing more important than evolving
a positive self-regard, and seeing yourself as competent, worthy, and
lovable. If you still view yourself in a variety of negative ways, you
owe it to yourself to take another look at your past, and to
discover joyfully that you’re not who your adults or society prompted you to believe you are. You are what you want to be!!
