Being an adult!!

We all knew that we would grow up one day..
We knew that we had to face it someday..

Everyone said there would be tough times, but you will be okay..
Nobody mentioned everything comes up with a cost that you have to pay..!!

There is an overwhelming stress you have to face...
Willingly or unwillingly, you are a part of rat race...

You are caught in shackles of need that look like lace...
Between money and dreams you don't know what to chase...!!

Every mistake you make feels like you are getting stabbed with knife..
The decisions you make, would affect the rest of your life..

You are caught up in the situations where you don't know what to do..
Its terrifying to know that "you can be rejected for being you..!"

Its frightening  to realize that when you grow up you are on your own..
Into a world that's still unknown..

Despite this fear, you wake up everyday and fight..
In this world, you are your own knight..!!
 

Believe in your heart, keep your spirits alive,

Don’t doubt yourself, you will survive.

 

Things can go wrong and make you feel low,

It’s good not to dwell, you can let it go...!!

Things we don't talk about..!!

     "Chilhood Abuse" as we discuss, is been limited to physical and sexual trauma a child goes through. While we discuss about these issues, we often overlook an equally damaging and common kind of abuse - emotional abuse.

     Emotional  abuse can be of various kinds like emotional neglect, verbal abuse, demotivation, shame & humiliation etc. A child absorbs and learns what is been taught or what he/she observes around them. There is no good or a bad child by birth. There are many people who are hesitant or unwilling to talk about their childhood because of the chaos they have gone through.  Painful childhood memories are typically tied to distressing feelings such as abnormality, inferiority, self-doubt and shame as the child grows up. However, memories of these past situations and events can sneak up on a person in the present during moments of “felt” threat or vulnerability. These emotions are intense and hard to explain. 

    Each member in a family has their own strengths, their own struggles, their own point of view. They have their own personalities, their own fears, their own hopes. Each member also has a unique relationship with every other member, too. Its important for the adults to understand what the kid really thinks. Childhood trauma does not come in a single package. Its the series of incidents good or bad that grooms the personality. On top of abuse or neglect, denial heaps more hurt upon the child by requiring the child to alienate herself/himself from reality and her/his own experience. 

     As children, such individuals usually feel insufficiently cared for, supported, or respected. They feel they have no “voice” in their family, that their wants and needs are regularly overruled or shamed by their elders. Four out of five families also have the obnoxious habit of comparing their kid with others which again leads to jealousy and aggression. Trust me no child needs this kind of negativity in their childhood. There are always ways to make your child the best, comparison is certainly not the way.

      When child with such emotions grow up, their behavior reflects in their further relationships, with peers, friends etc. They might grow up to be aggressive, angry or they might also grow up to be emotionless as their feelings were never valued. Remember that the purpose is not to dwell on the past but to go back to it for the purpose of re-visioning it. As an adult, there may be nothing more important than evolving a positive self-regard, and seeing yourself as competent, worthy, and lovable. If you still view yourself in a variety of negative ways, you owe it to yourself to take another look at your past, and to discover joyfully that you’re not who your adults or society prompted you to believe you are. You are what you want to be!!

    

  

Stop Female Foeticide !!!

Everyone was happy that I was coming,
a little tissue when they found out, still developing..!
Mumma and Papa were dancing in joy,
they thought it’s better if I was a boy!!

Mumma was treated like a queen,
She was now pampered like she has ever been!!
Papa was planning how everything should be blue,
but I was a girl and they had no clue!!


Days passed, nights passed and now few months were over,
but till now they didn’t know what was my gender!
mumma’s food was my food to eat,
the first music I listened to was her heartbeat!!

Anything can go wrong as stated in law of Murphy,
Soon I was in the ward of Sonography!!
I was happy and cozy in my mumma’s womb,
little did I know, I’ll be in a tomb..!!             

Everybody was waiting for the news of wonder,
mumma’s heart was beating like thunder!!
“It’s a girl”! the nurse exclaimed,
papa was ashamed and mumma was blamed!!

They said we don’t want her, lets go for abortion,
It was my life and I wasn’t asked any permission!!
I consoled myself and kept quiet like a good girl,
I saw a pair of hands towards me swirl!!

All I remember is the thirsty look of the sharp knife,
Eagerly waiting to end my dear life!!
Mumma and papa were brave enough to see me die,
at least they would have kissed me a good bye!!

A trip to remember!

* One's destination is never a place, it's a new way of experiencing life **

      A holiday to Andaman & Nicobar Islands is a once in a lifetime experience. Andaman & Nicobar is full of amazing nature  and stunning marine life. Andaman Islands are a group of islands in the Bay of Bengal and a Union Territory of India. The place was known as "Kaala Pani" because of the Cellular Jail. This place became a tourist's spot only after 2000. Tourists can visit Andaman group of Islands as the Nicobar is out of reach for any kind of tourism activities and we need government permit to visit them.
 
    

 My trip to Andaman was with my family in Oct 2016. Our flight was from Chennai to Port Blair, the capital of Andaman. It was a 4 day trip with stay and site seeing of Port Blair, Havelock island, Ross island, Bartang island and Neil island. A typical day at Andaman begins with sunrise as early as 5 AM in the morning and sun sets at about 4.30-5 PM. There are 2 monsoons in Andaman and it rains anytime, just like Bengaluru!!😁😁

    Day 1- On our first day we covered all the tourist spots of Port Blair like Chattam Saw Mill, Samudrika Naval Marine Museum,  Rajiv Gandhi Water Sports complex and The Cellular jail. Our day ended with light and sound show in cellular jail, which illustrates the torture and inhuman treatment of the prisoners. The vibe of cellular jail gives you goosebumps!!

   

Day 2 - We were ready at 4 AM for our first mini cruise ride to Bartang islands. It is famous for its beautiful beaches, mangrove creeks, mud-volcanoes and limestone caves. You can see thousands of parrots at Parrot Island in the evening. Naturally limestone caves are magical and you will be amazed to see these natural creations here. A jetty ride to the limestone caves from the island in the rain was thrilling!! 

Day 3 - Our third day was the best day of our trip to Havelock islands, a 2 hour cruise ride from Port Blair.. Fine white sand, turquoise blue waters of exceptional quality and a lot of serenity were the hallmark of this enormous island. It's a paradise for water sports lover. One can enjoy scuba diving, snorkeling, bird watching, game fishing kayaking and much more.  I was  waiting for this day since a long time as it was my first "Scuba Diving experience". After a happy time at the beautiful Radhanagar beach, we went to the Ocean dive centre for scuba diving.  They give the dive suit with oxygen cylinder followed by 1 hour of basic diving training and instructions. You don't have to be a swimmer for scuba diving.  After getting  trained in 6 – 8 ft. water, I was ready for my first dive, both scared and thrilled.

       

         

 There is nothing like breathing underwater. You feel your throat dry up, and try blowing air from your nose but you can’t. In the struggle of breathing from your mouth, you can’t help but swallow the salty sea water. And then you make a conscious effort to try and convince yourself to breath from the mouth. What fascinated me thoroughly was the sound of my own breath underwater, it was hypnotizing. When I entered in the deep blue sea, my heartbeat was really fast and it took me few minutes to relax myself under water. Scuba gives us the chance to unveil the mysteries and the wonders of the environment which covers the majority of our planet.  It was really a great experience, to see the beauty of sea wildlife, fish , corals etc. I also found Nemo( Clown fish) 😅😁 It was totally a different world. It was so quiet. We were inside the water for about an hour. When we came back I got to the real meaning of the shayari from Movie "Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara" . Just Kidding, it happens only in movies. But it does give you confidence to overcome your fears! It was just one word "AMAZING".    

 

Day 4 - The day was a bit relaxing as we didn't had to wake up at 4 that day. We had only Ross island and Neil island to cover  and it is a 20 minutes jetty ride from Port Blair. Ross island has Indian Naval Post and a beautiful Light house. Ross Island has thick forests. To any onlooker it may give the impression that it has no "life" — in the sense that there is no human habitation. Spotted Deers and peacocks are mostly found in the island and they just roam around casually with humans, just like cats and dogs here.

Day 5 - We had a flight back to Chennai in the morning and we were upset and cribbing as we didn't want to leave Andaman. With heavy hearts we departed from Port Blair with extra baggage full of amazing memories.

Move on..!!

Once in a lifetime everyone goes through heartbreak,
the pain of being abandoned, the pain that no one can take..!!  

The feeling of being excluded from the rest,
the uncertainty of not knowing what’s next..!! 

But the scars you hold are necessary,
you get them from the love that does not tarry..!! 
Take time to think not only twice but many times over,
think of something that causes peace instead of anger..!!

Pain and hopelessness are only in one's mind,
They may be wiped out, so leave them both behind..!!
No one else can cure but, you yourself alone,
Understanding and helping yourself takes you out from that zone..!!  

Getting out of the blue is easier said than done,

 But with you on your side, impossible thing is none..!!
  Smile the sweetest smile and the world smiles too,
  Cry the saddest moan, you shall find it's only you..!!

You will wake up one day and this won’t matter anymore,
you will no longer weep for that closed door..!!

So, go on, live your life the way it should be,
 let go of the sorrows and you shall be free..!!

I am Alone..!!

Alone with my thoughts deep and dry,
with the slide show in my head passing by..!! 

Alone in my room, alone in my bed,
but I am not alone in my heart or head..!!

Alone with thoughts I cannot share,
people might leave me, so I don’t dare..!!

I feel alone, in this world of pretense,
where people talk about things that don’t make sense…!!

 

Alone with people all around,
loneliness is the only thing I’ve found..!!

Alone in my sadness and my tears,
I’ve mastered the skills to hide my fears..!!

Now, I have no one to call my own,
amongst the crowd I walk alone..!!

Yes, I Am An Introvert

     "I am an introvert". I know this now and I am not ashamed of it. Some days you'd never guess I am introverted, others it's pretty obvious to see that I am one. I'm awkward when I need to talk to someone or start a conversation. Addressing or being part of a big group of people for a long period of time drains my energy, but there is always a big thumbs up to one-on-one conversations. Most people don't know this, but I have to mentally prepare myself to talk to you.

         As a kid I’ve grown up thinking that something is wrong with me. Brought up in a loud middle class Indian family where people don’t understand the concept of being introverted, I was always questioned things like, “Are you okay?”, “Why are you so quiet?” or “Do you hate people or something?” or “It’s rude when you don’t speak up in a gathering”. Obviously, I had no answer.  I would rarely  engage with the other children of my age. I was always off to the side somewhere, playing with my own toys and doing my own thing. When I pushed myself really hard to make a small talk, I made a fool out of myself and that made me really sad. It was only in college I realized that, its okay to be the way I am. It's ok if I don’t feel like interacting with other people and a big “Thank You” to each of the few friends that I have who , accepted me the way I am.

      Although I am quiet, once I get comfortable, it’s a whole another story. I can be the most talkative, outgoing person while in my ideal environment, but at any moment, I can go from having the time of my life to, "please, get me the hell out of here!" If I know you, or you’re super extroverted with a conversation and you’re pretty much the one leading it, I can handle it. But if you’re expecting me to lead the conversation or have a smooth one, it’s not going to happen

      To be happy means accepting who you are. If you love surrounding yourself with a huge group of friends and attending every party you can, great! But it’s equally ok to prefer spending time alone, or just staying at your home reading a book or sometimes doing nothing. So next time somebody tells you it’s not normal to spend so much time alone, or can’t understand why you would turn down a plan for a cozy time on the sofa in your PJ’s, tell them, 
      “Hey, I’m an introvert, and that’s okay!" Because it really is.

Its your choice!

Feeling lost and lonely with each passing day?
there my friend, you need to find a way!

Its all about choices that you have you make..
Its all about chances that you have to take!!

Its all about living in the past or living now,
Its all about making it work or just wondering how?

Its always a toss between faith and doubt,
Its all about hiding these feelings or shouting it out!!

Its all about choosing to give up or getting back on track,
Its all about accepting your defeat or fighting it back!!

Upto you to let go of everything or to stay,
listen to your gut, you will find a way!!

 

Independence Day!

Today 70 years ago, India became a free bird,
Many battles were fought to shoo away the British herd!!
Today as we recall and pray for lives all lost,
Surely our freedom came at a heavy cost!!

Since then, our country fighting all odds stays,
Seven decades have passed since slavery days!
Worldwide our country’s power is at peak,
Development, peace and harmony is what we seek!

As there are highs and lows in a tide,
our country also has its own dark side..!
Regionalism, terrorism or female infanticide..
Because of poverty and distress our farmers die!!

Despite all the muddle our tricolour still flies high..
To never let it down, is what we should strive!!
Years back called “snake charmer’s land- India !
Today its fondly known as brand INDIA!!

Jai Hind !!